


Avalon Hall

by Bookmonster



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - High School, First Time, M/M, Mentions of Illness (Minor Character), Modern Universe, mentions of drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-02
Updated: 2012-06-02
Packaged: 2017-11-06 14:40:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/420028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookmonster/pseuds/Bookmonster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur Pendragon, new Police Officer, is sent on an undercover mission to Avalon Hall to root out a drug dealer. When he meets Merlin Emrys, Arthur finds that in life it’s not always so easy to find the bad guy. Will Arthur remember which side he’s meant to be on?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Avalon Hall

The room felt too hot, Arthur wanted to shift slightly on his feet but knew that it would be noticed, so he stood still. The speeches took forever and then a woman with a chain around her neck had started to talking. Arthur guessed she was some sort of Mayor, he really didn’t care. He just wanted to leave and get down the pub to celebrate properly. 

“The rest of the job is being good family, friends, and neighbours in the communities that you serve, now please join me in saying congratulations to the next generation of law enforcement.”

The applause continued for a few minutes and Arthur could see various members of family waving at their son or daughter on the stage. Arthur didn’t bother looking for anyone, his father wouldn’t be able to enter this room without the entire force coming down heavy on him. Arthur tried to quiet the small, rebellious part of him that was glad his father was free, not because he didn’t believe his father should be in jail but because deep down Arthur was still loyal to the idea that Uther Pendragon was his blood, his father. 

However much the man didn’t deserve such attachment Arthur couldn’t seem to help himself. Uther Pendragon, a name that none of the people here would fail to recognise and Arthur had found that it brought him a notoriety of his own. Arthur Pendragon, son of criminal overlord joins up as a Police Officer, the reactions ranged from suspicion to outright hostility. All Arthur wanted to do was what was right and maybe make some sort of amends for his family as ridiculous as that sounded even to his own mind.

“Police Constable Bridges.”

Arthur had zoned out again, his name wouldn’t be called until a lot further on in the alphabet. Then at last the names had rolled into the mid alphabet Arthur paid more attention knowing that he would soon be getting off the stage and out of the spotlight in more ways than one.

“Police Constable Pendragon.”

Arthur had walked to the podium to receive his handshake and exchanged a few words with the Mayoress, the hush and buzz of conversation had dipped and then escalated as people heard and reacted to his name.

“Well done Arthur. I hope you do your force proud.”

Arthur smiled and nodded, turning for the camera that would capture this moment at the beginning of his career. The beginning of putting his past behind him and having a future out from under his father’s shadow. The blinding flash and then he walked down the stairs with pats raining down on his shoulders and back from fellow graduates, fellow officers now. 

The first few weeks of being a freshly minted police officer were not exactly what Arthur had in mind when he signed up. There seemed to be an awful lot of paperwork and even less of the chasing criminals than he’d been expecting. And even though he thought he’d prepared himself, a lot of snide comments and attention that other new recruits weren’t having to deal with. 

“Oi sleepyhead, you done with that?”

One of the few things Arthur was actually enjoying was his partner, Elena Goodwin. She’d been one of a few people to take him as he was rather than who his father was and even though she could out burp most of the men on the force Arthur was just pleased to have someone in his corner. 

“DI’s been looking for you by the way.”

“Hmm.”

The pen struck him on the side of the head before bouncing onto the table.

“What the hell El?”

“You’re a poet and I never knew it, know it, damn well at least one of us is. It sounded serious, what’s going on?”

“No idea. Maybe I’m getting a new partner, one who doesn’t insult me all day and throw pens at me.”

“You could do a lot worse than me, Pendragon.”

Arthur silently agreed with her, he’d overheard a lot of gossip about himself lately and even though it was mostly bullshit he had heard something that stuck. Apparently everyone asked had refused to be his partner until Elena volunteered. 

“Just Arthur is fine.”

“Well he’s in his office now, just go and get it over with.”

She was bossy but at least she was right, Arthur wouldn’t concentrate if he had something like that looming over him.

“Sir?”

Arthur ducked his head around the solid door that separated DI Bank’s office with the rest of the open plan space.

“I was told you wanted to see me?”

“Ah Pendragon, come in.”

Arthur stepped into the office, tamping down the nervousness in his stomach the sensation reminding him of afternoons spent outside the headmaster’s office.

“Close the door please.”

So really not good then, Arthur thought.

“I have an assignment for you Pendragon. It has been decided that you are most suited to it after looking into your background.”

“Sir, if this is about my father.”

“It’s not,” DI Banks quelled any further words in Arthur’s throat with one look and continued when he was satisfied there would be no further interruptions, “young, went to Public school, male. You fit the profile for an undercover case we need worked.”

“Undercover?”

“Hmm I know you haven’t had any specific training but that will probably be in your favour, fresh faced is exactly what is required.”

“What’s the job sir?”

“Public school, they have a drug problem they want to root out,” Banks shifted in his chair and for the first time Arthur realised he looked slightly uncomfortable, “they have a few suspects but no proof. You’d be going in to collect evidence, the school want this as low key as possible.”

Arthur nodded, the chance to get away from his name and be someone else was an attractive prospect if he was completely honest after the intense attention he’d been subject over the last few weeks and months to a lesser extent.

“Ok, what’s the catch?”

“No catch. Look orders have come from above and I’m not saying I’m happy about sending someone so new and _untested_ into the field like this but they specifically asked for you. So, just watch yourself ok?”

The next few weeks were a crash course in background checks and basic undercover training, there wasn’t time for anything more in depth and everyone was expecting a fairly easy job. A simple backstory for Arthur was created and studied as well as a new name. The new name, Arthur Kingston, seemed innocuous but Arthur wondered how different his life would be from underneath the long shadow his surname had cast over his life so far. He’d always resisted changing his name, angry that people judged him on the basis of a few arbitrary syllables, defiant, pig headed perhaps but it was his name and why should he change it to appease other people? He had to admit that the thought of this new name was freeing and only temporary anyway so he couldn’t really see the harm in enjoying it for a little while.

\---

The taxi pulled up in front of the main house of Avalon Hall carrying Arthur and his suitcase where he was greeted by Mr Borden, Headmaster of Avalon Hall.

“Ah you must be Arthur.”

“Yes sir.”

Arthur felt strange using the honorific with someone other than his DI but it was best to have as few possibilities for someone to overhear something that could give him away.

“Yes, yes come with me then and I’ll show you to your room. Mr Emrys will give you a tour of the grounds, we like to keep things as much peer to peer as possible to create strong bonds at Avalon Hall. Pastoral care is the heart of what we do.”

Arthur felt like he was being read the sales pitch. He kept his eyes on their route wanting to be able to find his way around as soon as possible. He’d studied the building plans but knew looking at those things and actually finding your way around them were very different things. It didn’t take them too long to make it to the sixth form rooms passing a common room with a television and fairly comfortable looking chairs as well as a pool table. 

“And here we are Mr Kingston. Any problems can be passed onto Mr Collins your House Master. This is Merlin Emrys, one of our brightest students here at Avalon who will be showing you around until you get your bearings. Now if you will excuse me gentlemen.”

“Sir.”

Arthur caught the quirk of amusement at the corner of Merlin’s lip and hid his own from Mr Borden. As soon as the man had moved out of earshot Arthur dropped his case to the bed and straightened up.

“Yes he really does always talk like that. I’m Merlin.”

Arthur took the offered hand and shook it firmly.

“Arthur Kingston. So you giving me the tour then? Sorry, I know no one likes doing them.”

Merlin shrugged but he smiled a little wider. 

“No problem, shall we go now? Enough time to have a look round before tea. So these are people’s rooms, all six formers have their own. That’s mine next door to yours. Fifth years down that corridor, all other years are in Isca House by the tennis courts which I’ll point out when we go to tea.”

“How long you been at Avalon Hall?”

“Since fourth year. My SATs were good so I applied for a scholarship here.”

Arthur privately thought Merlin’s SATs had been brilliant when he’d studied his file. He was smart there was no doubting that, dedicated to his studies despite his mother being ill. They didn’t have much money, if it hadn’t been in the file, Merlin telling him about the scholarship would have given him the same information. Dealing drugs could start to look a very attractive option when things got tough. Arthur kept his face neutral and polite as Merlin pointed various buildings out.

“So what happened then? Transferring to another school at the beginning of the second year of sixth formers is pretty unheard of.”

Arthur had his cover story ready but he paused. He felt idiotic telling Merlin, who had obviously worked extremely hard to get a place in this school, that he was a fuck up and had been expelled. Even if it wasn’t remotely true he didn’t want Merlin to think badly of him already. 

“I..I’d rather not talk about it. Family problems.”

“Oh sorry, no problem.”

They walked silently to the tennis courts, the Sunday afternoon warm and quiet as Merlin pointed out various features and made Arthur laugh with his commentary on the various people they passed.

“We should go back to the dorms, so you can unpack and get ready for tea.”

“Do you mean dinner?”

“Posh git, fine yes, dinner.”

Arthur grinned and followed Merlin back across the grounds, step one of his plan was going well, make friends with Merlin Emyrs. They made it to the dining hall after everyone had already sat down and Arthur felt heads swivelling in his direction. For once he didn’t mind, he knew that it was because he was the ‘new boy’ rather than a Pendragon, their gazes curious rather than hostile. Merlin showed him where to collect a plate from and then they piled them with sausages, mash and peas with a gravy that was basically just brown water in Arthur’s opinion. Arthur sat where Merlin indicated and as he set his plate down he found a hand thrust under his nose.

“Gwaine, good to meet you.”

Arthur shook the offered hand.

“Arthur.”

“Let the man eat Gwaine. Hi I’m Leon.”

Arthur nodded and listened as everyone introduced themselves. He had of course memorised all their names when preparing for his assignment but listened patiently and made the necessary polite noises.

“You should come have a game of rugby Arthur, you play?”

“Lacrosse at my old school, and a bit of football. Never played rugby though.”

“Rugby players have bigger balls Arthur.”

Gwaine’s comment earned him a loud laugh from the rest of the table but Leon turned an appraising eye on Arthur.

“You look like you could give Percy a run for his money,” Leon glanced over at the tall boy Arthur knew as Percy Green, scattered laughter from the rest of the table met this pronouncement, “hmm maybe not but depending how quick you are you look like you could play wing or maybe fullback.”

Arthur didn’t really have time to dedicate to playing a sport where Merlin wouldn’t even be in attendance. Time that could be used for keeping an eye on his whereabouts.

“Ah sorry, team sports are out. A condition from my father, says I have to concentrate on my school work.”

“Well let me know if you change your mind, I’m captain of the team and be glad to have you.”

“Thanks.”

Later in the evening as Arthur unpacked the last of his things Merlin knocked on the door quietly.

“Just wanted to pass on your timetable, Mr Collins gave it to me as I was passing his office.”

“Cheers Merlin, what A levels are you doing?”

“Couple of the same ones as you actually, sorry hope you don’t mind I had a look.”

“That’s fine, let me guess English and History.”

“Yup, and Art. And everyone has to do General Studies which is a bit of a waste of time but at least Mrs Allis is alright.”

“I was wondering if maybe I could go over some of the lessons with you, see what I may have already covered and stuff.”

“Ok. You can mostly find me in the library so come find me any time. Night Arthur.”

“Night Merlin, thanks for today by the way.”

Merlin smiled and left Arthur to his first night at Avalon. Thinking back over the day Arthur couldn’t say that he would have pegged Merlin for a criminal but it took all sorts he supposed. All sorts of people, all sorts of motivations, some people could hold out longer but everyone had a point where they would break the law, it was all a case of knowing which buttons to press. Arthur slept fitfully, dreams where his father morphed into Merlin and back chased him to the dawn. 

After the first few days of settling in and making sure he knew everyone’s names Arthur decided he needed to be a little more proactive. Merlin had been friendly that first day but hadn’t pursued their friendship as Arthur had hoped he might. He was obviously a fairly independent person and he hadn’t seen evidence of any close friendships, but then his file had suggested as much. Arthur had built up a picture in his mind of Merlin as the aloof dealer perhaps with other students as underlings. The reality however was looking much different, Merlin just looked lonely and distant from his fellow students. Decision made, Arthur went along the corridor. People’s doors were mostly left open even when they weren’t there but Merlin’s was always closed. He knocked and waited for Merlin’s voice.

“Who is it?”

“Arthur.”

“Come in.”

The pale yellow walls of Merlin’s room were uninterrupted, some of the boys plastered their rooms in pictures of topless women or their favourite bands despite the warnings from house parents about the horrors of what blue tac and sellotape did to the paint work. Merlin simply displayed a solitary photograph on his desk, of who Arthur assumed must be his mother. Arthur examined them closely hoping that they might give him some insight into Merlin’s brain, observation being one of the first things drilled into him during his training. 

“Just wondering if you had the history homework written down, could have sworn I wrote it down but can’t find it in my notes.”

“Was it both of the questions you needed or just the Poland one?”

Arthur dragged his attention away from the walls and back onto the slightly uncomfortable boy in front of him. The desk held a few folders and scattered pens but the whole room was very...neat overall and Arthur wondered if that meant anything in particular. Was Merlin an organised person capable of running a drug business whilst still at school or did he just like having a neat room? 

“Both, please.”

Merlin’s eyes darted around, Arthur wondered if he was checking there was nothing incriminating around his room.

“What are you staring at?”

Arthur blinked as he realised his suspicions were slightly off base and it was his own behaviour making Merlin uncomfortable.

“Sorry, just really neat that’s all. Everyone else’s room looks like they’re recovering from a hurricane.”

Merlin looked slightly defensive at this making Arthur wonder if this was the first time he’d had such a nice room. Merlin made a slightly non-committal hum and carried on digging around in his bag for the homework Arthur had asked him for.

“Here.”

“I was thinking maybe we could go through it together, I could always do with help in the history department.”

“If you need additional tutoring I’m sure Miss Hanes could help you with that.”

“I meant it might be fun to do it together, you know like a study buddy thing. Mr Borden did say you were one of the smartest kids in school.”

Merlin’s stomach flipflopped as his interest flared in the admittedly good looking jock in front of him but was quickly quashed. Good looking jocks asking for help with schoolwork meant one thing, and it wasn’t to spend more quality time with the geeks. 

“I’m sorry but I study better on my own, less distractions and all that.”

“Right.”

Merlin didn’t know if he imagined the slight crease between Arthur’s eyebrows and the flash of disappointment but he knew what his mother would say if she knew he’d refused to help someone in need.

“Maybe I could help a little, come find me during prep after dinner and I’ll see what I can do.”

With that the cocky grin was back on Arthur’s face and Merlin found he rather liked being the one who put it there even as he cursed himself for being a soft touch. 

\-----

School was both different and the same as it had ever been. Arthur fell into the routine far easier than he ever would have thought. The first weekend at Avalon was a departure from what he remembered at school, at Winchester most of his weekend would have been taken up by lacrosse practise. He found himself at a bit of a loss early saturday morning when instead of getting his sports kit on he was one of the few up and ready to make it to the dining hall on time for breakfast. He took his time over the sausages, beans and toast until someone sat down opposite him.

“Morning.”

“Merlin.”

Merlin smiled and tucked into his breakfast of what looked like most of what was on offer, Arthur squawked a protest when Merlin stole one of his pieces of toast and tried to eat it in bites between spooning cornflakes into his mouth.

“That is disgusting Merlin, were you brought up by a pack of wolves?”

“Nope, maybe you just never learnt how to get as much food into your mouth because of the silver spoon there.”

“Oi.”

Merlin stuck his tongue out, which was covered in a mixture of cornflakes and toast.

“Urgh. Where have you been anyway, you weren’t in your room earlier when I knocked.”

“Oh yeah I got up early went for a run.”

“You run?”

“Uh huh, I was never one for team sports to be honest and it helps me clear my head. Did you need me for anything then?”

“When?”

“Earlier, you said you knocked.”

“Oh, no nothing in particular. I’m just used to being busier on the weekends, it’s so quiet here.”

“Hmm lots of people go home on the weekend.”

“Not that many did at my old school, what do you usually do then? You don’t go home”

“No, too far to travel for a weekend really. Study, run. Not much else to be honest. I’ve been trying to teach myself the piano, the practice rooms are pretty much empty over the weekend so no one has to be subjected to my rubbish playing.”

Arthur glanced at Merlin’s hands and thought they would probably look good on a piano however badly he played. Swallowing he forced himself to concentrate on Merlin’s words.

“Some people go horse riding, or go to the archery range. No lacrosse but you could play rugby or football.”

“What are you doing now?”

“English essay.”

“Mind if I join you?”

Merlin wavered for a moment, obviously weighing something up in his mind before nodding.

“The library it is then.”

Arthur didn’t think he’d ever been that happy to be on his way to study in a library but Merlin had a way to make it amusing even if he couldn’t always make the subject matter interesting. After they’d settled themselves onto a corner table, notes laid out, Arthur watched as Merlin bent over his satchel his neck pale against the dark hair on his neck. Merlin huffed and looked up making Arthur wonder if he’d been caught staring.

“I’ve left my textbook in the dorm, I’m just going to get a copy off the shelf.”

“Right, good, ok.”

“You ok Arthur?”

“Fine, excellent.”

“Ooookay. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Arthur nodded as he pretended to study the pages in front of him. When he heard footsteps not even a minute later Arthur rolled his eyes.

“Forget something Emrys?”

The sarcasm rolled off his tongue.

“Kingston.”

“Oh Gwaine, wasn’t expecting you. Is this about the rugby again?”

“Not exactly. I just wanted to make sure you know what you’re doing.”

“What do you mean?”

“Hanging around with Emrys.”

Arthur felt his skin prickle, the beginnings of anger settling in his stomach.

“And what, exactly, do you mean by that?”

“You could do better you know. Just food for thought.”

Arthur watched as Gwaine bit into an apple, the noise a loud crack in the warm silence of the library.

“You shouldn’t be eating in the library.”

“Hmm I do a lot of things I’m not meant to.”

Gwaine stood up straight from where he’d rested his hip against the table.

“Thanks but I’m not interested.”

“Arthur?”

“Ah Emrys. Studying, makes a change for you.”

“Gwaine.”

Merlin nodded curtly and sat down in his seat not looking at either of them as Arthur watched a pink blush creep across the tips of his ears. Gwaine smirked and sauntered off leaving an uncomfortable silence behind him. The pen in Merlin’s fingers twitched as he fiddled with it.

“So, what did Gwaine want then?”

“Oh nothing, just asking if I wanted to play rugby again. Told him I wasn’t interested. I’m guessing you don’t get on?”

“You could say that.”

Arthur couldn’t get anything more out of Merlin on the subject, so he let Merlin prattle on about the work he’d have to catch up on. 

By his second week at Avalon, Merlin found Arthur had insinuated himself into pretty much every part of his life and the most disturbing part was he was starting to enjoy the other boy’s company. Arthur was there at meal times when usually Merlin would eat and leave to study or take a walk around the woods before lunch was over. He was in most of Merlin’s lessons and sat next to him scribbling notes and occasionally doodling on Merlin’s, which Merlin pretended to find annoying but actually found himself paying more attention to the doodles than his notes when looking them over later in prep. 

Arthur seemed to ignore his natural place as a jock and had repeatedly told Leon and the others that he wasn’t interested in playing team sports. Merlin found it all fairly mystifying but still couldn’t quite stop his blood pumping faster or his smile getting wider whenever he saw Arthur. He shared some of this with Gwen and Morgana hoping that they might tell him to ignore it but they grinned and made weird cooing noises. Walking down to the village they hashed over Merlin’s vague and hesitant confessions about what, might, maybe, in another universe, perhaps, be happening with Arthur.

“He’s probably just hoping I’ll carry him through his exams.”

“So suspicious Merlin, can’t Arthur just like you?”

“I don’t know. No one even knows I exist in the stuck up place and all of a sudden Arthur’s, well everywhere in fact.”

Both girls giggled at this and Merlin rolled his eyes before joining in with their chuckles.

“I just don’t want to see things where there isn’t anything except for in my overactive imagination.”

After posting Merlin’s letter in the solitary red postbox standing sentinel at the edge of the village they headed back towards the schools. Avalon Hall on one side and on the other, Rowan Girls Academy, a state school but a highly picky state school. Merlin debated the wisdom of having the schools so close together, he knew of at least three relationships taking place under cover of darkness between the schools. 

“Maybe you should just snog him and see.”

The girls descended into giggles again and Merlin envied their easy affection, arms linked together as they tried to muffle their laughs. 

“Well if next time you see me I have a black eye and punctured lung you know I’ve taken your advice.”

“Well fine, pine away like some swooning maiden in an Austen novel but don’t complain to us when your balls drop off from underuse.”

“Morgana, for such a posh girl you have a filthy mouth.”

“I aim to please.”

“Oh dear god, have you ever met Gwaine? I’d love to see that.”

“Gwaine? The guy with the hair that looks in better condition than mine?”

“Gwen your hair is perfect,” Morgana tucked a loose strand of Gwen’s hair behind her ear and smiled, “and anyway why would I be interested in some guy who likes his own reflection so much that he wouldn’t notice a girl if she got naked in front of him.”

“Er Merlin who’s that?”

Both Gwen’s and Morgana’s eyebrows shot up and Merlin turned to follow their gazes and found Arthur striding towards them waving and smiling when he saw Merlin looking.

“Is that Arthur? Merlin you _have_ been keeping secrets.”

“Shut it Morgana.”

“Merlin, was wondering where you’d got to. Hi I’m Arthur.”

“Morgana.”

“Gwen.”

The little group looked at each other in silence for a few moments. Merlin wondered if Gwen and Morgana would be able to keep their giggles under wraps long enough for him to get away. Arthur continued as if unaware of the awkwardness of the situation.

“Going for a walk?”

“Coming back from one actually Athur.”

“Excellent can I escort you ladies back to school?”

“Not necessary but ever so gallant an offer.”

Morgana’s voice was slightly cooler but she was still smirking as Merlin decided to get out of this situation sooner rather than later.

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye Merlin, nice to meet you Arthur.”

Merlin realised that Gwen had said nothing but blush prettily at Arthur and felt an odd surge of jealousy burn in his chest. It seeped away as he turned to find Arthur watching him so intently that even Gwen and Morgana’s quiet laughter as they walked away didn’t distract him. 

“Buy anything in the village?”

“No, just posting a letter and walking with Gwen and Morgana. Did you need to get something? I can walk with you if you like.”

“No that’s fine, I was just going for a walk.”

“Thank god, I’m starved do you think the cook will give us anything if we ask really nicely?”

“Well you look like you need feeding up so maybe they will take pity on your boney arse.”

The odd intensity of Arthur’s stare gave way to their usual banter as they headed back up the tree lined drive towards Isca, passing a couple of boys taking advantage of the weather to play a game of tennis. 

\-------

His first visit back to his station came as a shock one month after he’d started at Avalon. 

"Progress?"

Arthur shifted slightly knowing that he hadn’t been concentrating on his goal at Avalon as much as he could have been. 

"Nothing concrete so far sir."

"You must have something Arthur."

"Rumours at the moment sir, nothing to back anything up at the moment. This Merlin seems to do nothing but study, I don’t think he’s involved at all."

Arthur didn’t know exactly why he was defending Merlin when he didn’t have the evidence to back up that claim, he should be impartial, level headed, doing his job properly. The man across the desk pressed forward slightly, looming more than should be possible with that much furniture between them.

"A month and nothing at all concrete. Perhaps this was the wrong assignment for you, simple reconnaissance and information finding."

Arthur wondered if that was a reference to his upbringing or not. He expected it from others but had hoped that he could prove himself to Banks at least through hard work. 

"My next report will be more satisfactory, Sir."

"I hope so Pendragon, for both our sakes. One month, and I want to see some progress. I’m giving you some leeway here."

“I don’t need any special treatment, if this is about my father.”

“Well it is, and I’m sorry but not in the way you think Pendragon, so just be quiet a minute and hear me out. I think someone is trying to set you up here, hoping that you will fail so spectacularly that you will prove what everyone says or thinks about the Pendragons and you in particular.”

“But. Why would someone do that?”

“I think if you’re stupid enough to ask then I don’t know if I want you on my team. Now go and find me a case.”

Arthur headed back to Avalon subdued, he'd been carried away by the novelty of reliving his school days and it had gotten in the way of what he was here to do. Whether or not the culprit was a good person, or maybe even someone Arthur had come to like, they were breaking the law and Arthur had a job to do.

"Arthur, good weekend?"

Arthur had sprawled on his bed after abandoning his bag on the floor, Merlin stood propped in his doorway.

"Hmmm."

When Arthur didn’t offer any further information Merlin frowned and watched him closer.

"That good huh? Did you argue with your dad or something?"

"Something like that."

"Come and get some toast, I will even put three sugars in your tea even though it makes my teeth ache just thinking about it.”

Arthur huffed a little into the pillow his face was smushed into but let himself smile a little as well, he liked that Merlin knew how he took his tea. 

"Yeah alright, let me unpack I'll be there in a minute."

The common room was fairly quiet and they commandeered a couple of chairs in the corner furthest from the tv with their hot tea, Arthur’s three sugars and Merlin’s none, and some slices of toast between them. 

“Did you get a chance to look at the English homework?”

“Shit, when is that for?”

“Tomorrow afternoon.”

“I’ll just give Mr Townley some excuse about being ill or something.”

Arthur had come across some of Merlin’s expressions more often than others and had begun categorising them, the one he’d just seen had been disappointed-in-Arthur’s-lack-of-scholarly-application, mostly suppressing his sigh Arthur sank deeper into his chair.

“Ok, how much trouble am I in?”

Merlin smirked and then rolled his eyes.

“Don’t worry, I made notes you can borrow.”

“Merlin I could kiss you right now.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Arthur noticed a slight tinge of pink on Merlin’s high cheekbones, “just promise not to make me read what ever hurried clap trap you come up with for your essay.”

“I don’t need to promise I know you’ll read it anyway.”

When Arthur woke the next morning, furry mouthed and stretching he wondered if his brain had been chewing over his problem all night. He knew he hadn’t exactly been focused on pressing for information, mostly taking the passive route and hoping that he’d find something out by being in the vicinity of Merlin. But Arthur was a man of action and just hoping that he’d be around when something happened wasn’t enough now. He needed to find a way to get Merlin to confide in him and even though he felt slightly ill he knew a way to do it, he needed blackmail material. Going through his morning rituals Arthur decided there was no time like the present. 

“Merlin wait.”

He’d caught the boy as he was coming out of the bathroom.

“You have some toothpaste here.”

Arthur tugged on his tie, enough to pull the boy forward slightly into his personal space. Merlin’s eyes widen as he stared into Arthur’s blue ones. 

“There we go.”

Arthur leant forward slightly, making sure to flick his gaze up quickly under his eyelashes, the resulting exhalation from Merlin told him it had worked at least. He smoothed the tie down and smiled at Merlin as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening, taking in Merlin’s wide open eyes and slightly parted lips. He felt bad for a moment before remembering his purpose here and ignored the feeling. For good measure he let his tongue dart out to wet his lips, noting with satisfaction the effect this seemed to have on Merlin’s pupils.

“Couldn’t let you go into breakfast with toothpaste down your tie.”

“Huh, erm no, thanks, I mean.”

“Any time.”

Arthur thought a wink might be too over the top but he did give Merlin his best crooked smile, knowing that the dimple he got in his cheek was apparently very cute. What he didn’t expect was the fluttering in his stomach when Merlin smiled back seemingly having recovered from Arthur’s charm offensive. Deciding that it was definitely a start Arthur followed Merlin to breakfast trying to hide the panic at what he was trying to do. Replaying Merlin’s soft smile, Arthur didn’t find himself in the mood for food, guilt uncomfortable and heavy in his gut. The feeling followed him the rest of the day into the evening until he found Merlin watching him warily. Arthur knew that he couldn’t afford to have Merlin shying away, so pushing away his misgivings Arthur smiled and nudged his foot against Merlins’ swallowing shame as he watched Merlin blush and twiddle his pen. They both jumped as their bubble was interrupted by Leon’s solid presence moving to the side of the table.

“Do you two do anything but study?”

Arthur sat up straighter, moving his foot away from Merlin’s slowly, he was a little annoyed at the interruption but it was probably a good thing if he had been so engrossed in Merlin that he didn’t notice someone coming right up to them.

“Gwaine said he mentioned something to you about playing. Have you thought about it Arthur?”

“Yeah and thanks but still got to say no.”

Leon shrugged and went back to the group that usually settled to the right of the tv mostly made up of the rugby team, Merlin watched until Leon sat down and then turned to Arthur.

“Why is your father so against you playing?”

“He says I have to study and I shouldn’t waste my time on sports. He’s right I guess.”

Arthur tried to concentrate on the diamonds he was colouring in on his page but apparently Merlin wasn’t going to let him get off so easily.

“Do you want to play though?”

“Does it matter what I want? Anyway shouldn’t you be on his side, more studying is surely a good thing.”

The tips of Merlin’s fingers edged into his line of sight as if Merlin hadn’t been able to stop his hand from moving towards him.

“You should always go for what you want Arthur.”

Merlin’s voice had quietened enough that Arthur knew he meant it to be private, looking up he saw fear and hope battling together in Merlin’s eyes.

“Is that what you always do Merlin?”

“No,” Merlin’s smile was small and wry as he watched Arthur carefully, “I guess not.”

“I should go, thanks for your help Merlin.”

“No problem.”

Making his way to his room Arthur knew there was one last place he hadn’t followed Merlin yet. It was his last chance to try and catch Merlin out in a way that didn’t make Arthur’s stomach churn in guilt.

The next time Arthur watched Merlin tug on his trainers, he knew this was the last place he hadn’t followed him yet. Holding back on invading Merlin’s refuge in his running until he knew that Merlin wasn’t conducting his business under the cover of any of his other activities. 

“You going running later?”

“Uh huh, was planning to.”

“Could I come? My dad didn’t say anything about running just team sports after all. Would you mind I mean? It would be good to work on my cardio and I’m guessing you know the best places.”

Merlin looked surprised but nodded.

“Of course I don’t mind Arthur. I might not be very good company though, I tend to zone out a bit.”

“No problem, what time were you going?”

“How about we meet at the stables in about half hour?”

“Maybe I can give you some tips when we’re out there.”

“I hope you like eating dust Arthur, don’t think you’ll be able to keep up if I’m honest.”

Arthur laughed at Merlin’s wide, cheeky smile. When Arthur got downstairs Merlin was already stretching his legs out, his hair mussed and Arthur wondered if he’d ever seen it look anywhere near tidy, probably not but then that was Merlin.

“Ready?”

“Just give me a minute, need to stretch.”

Arthur leaned down and let his muscles acclimatise to the stretch as he tucked his fingertips under his toes. Arthur let his head drop to his knees and counted silently as the muscles pulled and then eased. He shifted position then looked up to find Merlin watching him, the boy quickly looked away to the tree line.

“Nice day for it.”

Merlin’s voice was about an octave higher than usual and Arthur watched as Merlin’s face twisted when he realised he was talking about the weather. Arthur let his head drop back down onto his chest to hide his grin. When they started out Merlin kept his pacing fairly slow, wanting to gauge Arthur’s speed and style. When he found Arthur keeping up easily with him and actually grinning at him Merlin picked up speed, pushing until he found his stride, his legs pulled and stretched as he let go and felt the ground give slightly beneath his feet. 

“That’s more like it.”

Merlin chanced a look behind him to find Arthur grinning widely, his face taking on a pinkish tinge from exertion or the slight chill in the air Merlin wasn’t sure but he looked wonderful. A root in the undergrowth took advantage of his distraction and Merlin found himself tangled on the muddy floor of the woods looking up at Arthur’s concerned face.

“Merlin, you ok?”

Merlin huffed as he sat up, his pride was definitely slightly bruised but other than that nothing a shower wouldn’t fix.

“I’m fine, graceful as ever.”

Arthur held his hand out and waited for Merlin to pull himself up, they both held on a little longer than was completely necessary until Arthur ducked his head to absently brush a stray leaf from his shorts. 

“So, do I have to give you a head start or do you think you can beat me now that I’m injured?”

Merlin grinned and Arthur lifted his eyebrow at the challenge.

“Let’s find out.”

Arthur had the best of it for a few minutes, his explosive speed giving him an advantage until Merlin’s stamina started to win out over the long run. Arthur found himself falling behind, his eyes trained on the soles of Merlin’s shoes, each flashing up for a moment before pounding the ground again. The woods were quiet and soon Arthur found that he was concentrating less on trying to catch up with Merlin and more on watching the taut muscles on his thighs and calves. When they reached the main building it was with a strange mixture of relief and exhilaration. And then dread as he realised he’d left himself only one more method of extracting information from Merlin, one that he both yearned for and dreaded in equal measures. 

Over the next week Arthur had nearly convinced himself that when they were walking to breakfast together it was just because they happened to be ready at the same time, or when Arthur sat next to Merlin in lessons it was only because Merlin was the smartest kid there and if he could read his notes it would mean he could get the schoolwork done quicker. Even the evenings spent in Merlin’s company were just so that he could keep an eye on his whereabouts. His report on the weekend would be thorough and Arthur was taking no chances by letting Merlin out of his sight, even to the extent of making sure they made their way to the shower cubicles at the same time. 

If Merlin noticed any of this he didn’t mention it, just seemed to take Arthur’s attention in his stride never searching Arthur out but never sending him away either. Thankfully Merlin seemed inclined to spend his free periods in the library or walking down to the village with Gwen and Morgana to post letters to his mother. 

Arthur could almost pretend that he’d forgotten about his other plan involving Merlin as they made their way back to the dorms after prep. The paths were already dark as the winter season fast approached winter making their way slightly treacherous each foot placed carefully in front of the other. Merlin’s room was warm and welcoming when they got there. Merlin threw his bag to the floor, collapsed onto his bed and grabbed his book from the bedside table. Arthur took the end of the bed, leaning up against the wall taking in the dark blue cover of Merlin’s book as he sat. This was a perfect opportunity and Arthur’s skin itched uncomfortably with either guilt or excitement he wasn’t sure which.

“You’re a Leo.”

“I don’t believe in that rubbish Merlin.”

“Well maybe it has something to it, here look.”

Arthur looked down at the page Merlin had been reading, a quick scan showed him it gave various characteristics for star signs and which star signs they were also compatible with.

“Why are you reading this? It’ll rot your brain, not that there would be much to rot.”

Merlin laughed as he pulled the book back.

“Fine, I’ll read it to you.”

He placed a fingertip along the words as he read, something Arthur found almost unbearably cute for some reason. 

“Leo, the lion.”

“What if I preferred a dragon?”

“That’s silly, a dragon is avaricious, greedy, not particularly nice. And there aren’t any dragons, well there are in Chinese Horoscopes, lions are much better anyway. Now stop interrupting and listen.”

Arthur mimed zipping his lips shut and Merlin grinned, satisfied, and went on with his reading.

“Generous, helpful, like giving expensive presents, I’m starting to like the sound of this.”

Arthur rolled his eyes but stayed silent not wanting to interrupt.

“Enjoy being seen as a person of substance and status, joyful sense of humour, blimey can Leos do no wrong? Ok, here we go irritable, sarcastic and pushy, hmm haven’t noticed any of that before.”

Arthur almost cuffed him round the head but settled for sticking his tongue out as a mature compromise.

“Loyal, dependable and traditional. What do you think?”

“I think you need to tell me what star sign you are so I can read yours.”

“Guess.”

Merlin handed over the book and sat back against the wall, his long legs stretched out close enough for Arthur to curl a palm around his ankle if he wanted. Instead Arthur took the book and tried to concentrate on the words.

“Ok, but you know this stuff is all made up, ridiculous that people think there are only twelve types of people.”

“Just guess.”

“Right, well not a Leo then.”

Merlin smiled and shook his head. Arthur scanned the traits and tried to think about classifying someone in such a simplistic way, it wasn’t possible was it? Merlin was complicated, friendly but reserved, goofy but responsible, interesting but so very far out of Arthur’s reach.

“Hmm says Virgo’s can be martyrs...ah but organised so that’s out. So not a Virgo then?”

“Nope.”

“Not a Libra either, says diplomatic and I’ve never met anyone less diplomatic. How about Scorpio? Resourceful, friendly, interesting.”

“Cruel, stingy, devious.”

“So not a Scorpio then.”

“Unless that’s how you see me?”

“No, well, not always anyway.”

Merlin kicked at Arthur’s thigh playfully but Arthur’s hand was faster as he pinned Merlin’s leg down ignoring the clench in his stomach as he realised he was pretty much doing what he’d fantasised about a couple of minutes earlier. He looked up to catch an odd look on Merlin’s face as his fingers pressed into the warm skin on his ankle. 

“What about Capricorn? Bit impulsive, good intuition, realistic. Takes family responsibilities seriously. Sounds like you.”

Merlin took a breath, his voice slightly off as he answered Arthur.

“Thought you didn’t believe in this stuff.”

“Does that mean I’m right then?”

Arthur slid his fingers away from Merlin’s skin, he could feel them balanced on a knife edge neither willing to admit it. Merlin just shrugged, a tensing of his muscles evident as he tried to keep his face neutral but Arthur took it as agreement, he scanned the rest of the entry including the compatibility part before handing it back.

“Do you read palms as well?” 

Merlin pursed his lips but held out a hand, Arthur shuffled on his knees up to Merlin’s side and placed his hand, palm up, into Merlin’s comparing his tanned skin with the paleness underneath. Merlin ran a fingertip down the center of Arthur’s palm making his fingers twitch.

“Hmm I see in your future that you are a very ticklish man. And a massive dingbat.”

Arthur tried to tug his hand away half heartedly but Merlin’s thumb pressed down harder on his wrist.

“Here look, this is your heart line ok, your life and head lines. This one here is your health line.”

“You’re not going to do that stupid joke and tell me I’m going to have a swimming pool are you?”

The thought of Merlin spitting into his palm was alarming Arthur in all sorts of ways and probably not the ways it was supposed to.

“No, I don’t know enough about palm reading to even try. I can tell the future though.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Or maybe just what I want to happen in the future.”

The tension and anticipation running through both their bodies made the air in the room thrum against Arthur’s eardrums. 

“Right.”

Arthur pulled his hand away from the cool grasp of Merlin and stood up away from the bed, away from the .

“See you in the morning then.”

Merlin watched him for a moment before nodding and the edges of his mouth attempted to turn up into a smile.

“I’m going for a run tomorrow, if you want to come. I usually head off around half six. You don’t have to of course but if you’d like.”

Merlin’s voice trailed off and Arthur realised he must be staring.

“That would be great, I mean if I manage to get up that early.”

“Yeah,” Merlin’s face scrunched into a grimace, “it is a bit of a struggle sometimes but it’s so quiet I like it best before the rest of the world is up and about.”

“Maybe see you then Merlin. Night.”

“Night Arthur.”

The door clicked closed quietly behind Arthur as he stepped out into the corridor, he imagined he could still feel the warmth of Merlin’s ankle against his hand and then the skim of his fingertips over palm and wrist. He’d had the chance to get some incriminating behaviour from Merlin and he had run away. This was bad on so many levels Arthur didn’t even know where to begin, but even that thought didn’t erase the ghost of Merlin’s touch. As soon as he got into his own bed his hand pressed beneath the waist of his boxers, trying and failing not to imagine Merlin’s warm fingers in place of his own. 

The next morning Arthur was up around six, pacing his room until he could go out and meet Merlin. They were silent as they made their way out to the woods, Merlin ran faster than usual Arthur hard pushed for once to keep up. The cold air burned in his lungs as Arthur ran, he let his mind go quiet for a moment and let his body take over.

They slowed to a walking pace, silent agreement passing between them, their breath coming out in short sharp bursts clouded the air in front of them. The chill that had threatened over the weekend had made its full appearance and the early morning dew had transformed into a light covering of frost that crackled beneath their trainers. Arthur couldn’t remember ever enjoying being up this early before but the world felt bright and sharp as the winter sunlight filtering through the trees. He looked over to find Merlin wearing what he’d called his ‘fretting face’.

“What’s on your mind Merlin?”

He watched as Merlin chewed his lip for a moment, the frown between his eyebrows deepening for a second as he looked up, bright green eyes trained on Arthur.

“Just thinking about school.”

“Seriously? Merlin I really need to get you a life.”

Gratifyingly for Arthur, Merlin chuckled at this, his face lightening.

“I guess what happens when we finish school more specifically, that and yes I do need to get a life.”

Arthur rolled his eyes as Merlin stuck his tongue out.

“What would you like to happen, maybe you could be a runner.”

“Nah running’s just what I do to clear my head, not stable enough either.”

“A scientist then.”

Merlin looked like he didn’t quite know what to do with his arms, fidgeting as if looking for pockets to stuff them in that running shorts didn’t have. Instead he crossed them, tucking his hands into his armpits as if trying to warm them there before looking at Arthur uncertainly.

“Well, I always thought maybe, I could be a doctor perhaps.”

Arthur stopped in his tracks and Merlin’s eyes widened in panic slightly.

“I know it’s silly, me as a doctor but...”

“Merlin,” Arthur grabbed the slighter boy’s shoulder to shake him slightly out of his ramblings, “I think you’d make a brilliant doctor. It’s a perfect job for you.”

Merlin coloured slightly.

“You don’t think it’s ridiculous then? I mean I’d be the first one in my family to go to university let alone be a doctor.”

“Well you’ve worked hard enough for it.”

Merlin made a noise that sounded enough like agreement that Arthur could let it go and carry on up the path, Arthur jogged a little until they were walking side by side, a comfortable silence settling between them, the crack and rustle of the woods around them the only punctuation to their footsteps. 

“What about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do you want to do when you finish school.”

“Oh, I dunno.”

“You must have thought about it.”

“Maybe I’ll go into my father’s business.”

“What does he do?”

Merlin kicked a stray pebble along the path they were taking, Arthur watched it skitter away as he thought fast to remember his cover story.

“Oh, sells timeshares, you know fleece people of their hard earned cash.” Arthur realised that perhaps he’d let a bit too much bitterness edge into his voice so he laughed hoping to cover up the awkward moment. Merlin wrinkled his nose making Arthur frown.

“What’s wrong with what that?”

“I, it just doesn’t seem particularly honourable. Having to do that day in and out, it would make you unhappy. You just seem like the kind of person who has to believe they are doing some good in the world rather than earning a lot of money or being famous.”

Merlin looked surprised at himself, as if the words had made their way out of his mouth without his full permission. 

“That and I can’t see anyone being stupid enough to get fleeced by you.”

“You always know just how to ruin a perfectly good compliment don’t you Merlin.”

Merlin grinned cheekily and Arthur chuckled but his attention was already wandering going over Merlin’s words. It was...strange not having to try and prove he was a nice guy, whenever anyone heard his real name they would automatically assume things about him. He felt a moment of madness where he considered telling Merlin who he really was and why he was here. He wondered if Merlin would still think him such a good guy for lying all this time. The feeling passed and Arthur felt slightly deflated, he was here to do a job and all those things Merlin had just said about him were nice but he’d joined the police to try and do some good in the world. If that meant arresting Merlin he’d do it, he wouldn’t be like his father using situations to his advantage rather than doing what was right.

“Race you back?”

“You’re on.”

Merlin was off like a shot leaving Arthur shouting about cheating and how they were supposed to be going on an agreed signal. Merlin just laughed and pressed harder knowing it wouldn’t take Arthur long to catch up.

\---------

_Phone call to Elena Oct 20th 21:32_

_“Arthur, you like him.”_

_“No, I don’t. I’ve just had to spend a lot of time with him.”_

_“Yeah and usually that means you’d be whinging and moaning about them, but not this guy.”_

_“I don’t bitch and moan.”_

_“You really do. Arthur just be careful ok? Being undercover, things can get a bit intense. You’re there for a reason don’t forget, the bad guys can be just as charming as the good ones and a million times more manipulative.”_

_“He’s not like that.”_

_“Just be careful.”_

_“I have been nothing but professional don’t worry.”_

_Arthur tried not to think too much about the amount of flirting that had been happening and consoled himself with the thought that he hadn’t done anything inappropriate._

_“Is this going to be a problem Arthur?”_

_“No.”_

_Hell what was one more lie when he was already living one?_

_“Right. Just be careful. Any leads at the moment?”_

_“Nothing, you’d think one of these rich, spoilt kids would be getting high but if they are no ones talking about it.”_

_“Well, nose to the grindstone love. I’ll see you soon ok?”_

_“Yeah, and thanks Elena.”_

_“No problem.”_

\--------

Arthur had wanted to ignore the whole thing, let them get on with it and stay well out of the way in his room. Usually he would have been instigating the drinking but it felt a bit weird with a group of schoolboys. 

“Come on, it’ll be fun. You don’t have to stay long, even Merlin’s there. And it’s my birthday and I command you to be there.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow but allowed Leon to drag him to the common room. He tried to tell himself that Merlin wasn’t the reason he was going but knew he was a lost cause when he saw Merlin tipping a beer bottle back, his cheeks flushed, eyes bright. A few cheers went up as Leon re-entered the room which he laughed off, Gwaine pressed a plastic cup into his hand and slapped him on the back. Arthur watched and edged around the group to where Merlin was leaning against the wall.

“Emyrs.”

“Kingston, to what do we owe the pleasure?”

“Leon told me I was being a boring git and dragged me out.”

The low chuckle Merlin gave him felt more intimate than usual.

“Are you drunk Merlin?”

“It is a party Arthur, you sound so scandalised. Maybe I’m not as innocent as you think?”

Arthur took a long gulp of his beer as Merlin observed him through lowered lashes, it was an obvious flirtation and fuck it, it had definitely worked. Arthur started as he felt a hand rest lightly on his back.

“Merlin.”

Arthur tried to keep his voice quiet, not wanting anyone else to notice how Merlin was now trailing light circles on his back, though the touch was light it felt like Merlin was branding him with each fingertip.

“Hmm?”

“What are you doing?”

“Going for what I want perhaps?”

Merlin tried to press the drink into Arthur’s hand, his fingers clumsy and lingering on Arthur’s wrist. Arthur looked around to see if anyone else was noticing Merlin being a bit handsy but most people were watching Gwaine down his pint, deciding he’d best get Merlin away before he did anything more incriminating Arthur pulled him back to his room. He left Merlin on the bed and went to fetch him a glass of water from the bathroom, thankfully not passing anyone who would ask why he was coming out of Merlin’s room. 

“Here, drink this.”

“Arthur. Is this water?”

“It is, you are drunk and if you don’t drink it your head will feel like it wants to explode in the morning.”

“I want another beer, do we have more beer?”

“Just drink it Merlin.”

Arthur pulled the glass to Merlin’s lips holding the back of his head steady with the other hand, Merlin looked up at him as he drank and Arthur could feel himself getting uncomfortably warm as his own gaze flicked between the half lidded gaze of Merlin and the delicate lines of his throat contracting as he swallowed the liquid. Pulling away to let Merlin hold the glass himself Arthur sat down at the far end of the bed, not watching as Merlin finished the glass and set it down on his bedside cabinet. Merlin got up slightly unsteady on his feet, his hand using Arthur’s shoulder as a support when he stood in front of him.

“Arthur.”

Arthur stared down at his fingers which were twisting together in his lap. Merlin’s fingers pressed into Arthur’s jaw angling it upwards until Arthur had to meet his gaze. When Merlin pressed forward, his breath sweet and sharp with the tang of alcohol, Arthur didn’t move until Merlin’s tongue pressed against his. A soft groan escaped from one of them, Arthur couldn’t be sure who and then Merlin was crawling into his lap, hands curling around Arthur’s neck to clutch handfuls of his hair. Arthur let himself go for a moment, gripping Merlin’s hips before he caught himself and pushed Merlin back onto his feet. Merlin panted, eyes wide as he watched Arthur.

“Merlin, we can’t do this.”

“We really can. Don’t even try and tell me you don’t want to.”

Merlin was pointedly not looking at his crotch yet Arthur still felt the urge to cover himself with his hands.

“God, you’re not making this any easier,” Arthur scrubbed his hand through his hair, it reminded him too much of what Merlin had been doing a moment before though so he stopped, “I’m, well I don’t...I’m a bit old for you.”

Merlin’s face scrunched in confusion and Arthur panicked as even the sight of that set his heart racing. God he really did want to do this.

“Arthur, you’re, what five months older than me.”

“I’m eighteen though Merlin.”

“And I will be in a couple of months, so what?”

Hopefully Arthur would be gone before then, he really didn’t want to have to resist Merlin when he was legally an adult.

“So, I just don’t think it’s a good idea. You’re drunk, and this will seem like a really bad idea in the morning.”

“What if I told you I’m not exactly as drunk as I seem?”

“Merlin, did you fake being drunk?” 

Merlin shifted uneasily. 

“Maybe. I am a little drunk just not as bad as I was making out and I appreciate you trying to be a responsible adult here,” Merlin smiled around the words, “but I am old enough to know what I want and if you hadn’t noticed the legal age of consent is sixteen, which I passed almost two years ago.” 

Merlin settled himself back in Arthur’s lap, hands running up and down Arthur’s forearms to where he still gripped Merlin’s hips unsure whether to pull him closer or push him away again. Arthur’s gaze focused through the haze of adrenaline and arousal that pumped through him, this was a bad idea on so many levels. The thought replayed itself over and over, but it grew fainter as Merlin’s lips grazed his, soft and teasing as if wondering whether Arthur was going to push him away for good this time. When Arthur’s hands moved around to press flat against Merlin’s lower back Merlin took that as permission to press closer, his tongue flickering against Arthur’s lips until they parted slightly. There was a crash from the hallway that made them both jump and Arthur pushed Merlin away more forcefully this time. He was quickly on his feet moving across the room to the door. Arthur paused there for a moment, his hand resting on the door handle, head bent so that he didn’t have to reach Merlin’s confused gaze.

“We can’t do this Merlin. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be such a fucking coward Arthur and tell me why.”

Merlin ran his fingers through his hair in frustration as Arthur closed the door behind him, a groan made its way from deep in his chest as he kicked the leg of the bed before falling onto it. 

When Arthur woke the next morning he had a full three seconds of feeling fine until the memory of the evening before with Merlin crashed down on him. Not that it hadn’t been good, but Arthur wondered how far it would have gone if it wasn’t for the interruption. Arthur got up, washed and dressed himself mechanically, perhaps if he could avoid breakfast...he berated himself silently for being such a coward. No, he had gotten himself into this mess and he was already disgusted with how far he’d let things go wrong so far. When he got to the dinner hall however Merlin was nowhere to be seen, so Arthur let the smells of toast and sausages distract him as he settled down on a bench suddenly ravenous, the chatter of other students fading away as he concentrated on his food.

“Up for a game Arthur?”

Arthur looked up both hoping and dreading that he’d find Merlin sat across from him at the breakfast table. Instead he found Leon, captain of the rugby team. He processed Leon’s question, the haze from last night still fogging his thoughts.

“You should come give it a go.”

Some of the other members of the rugby team stood nearby. They all watched him carefully and Arthur realised he was being invited into something. He really couldn’t justify following Merlin anymore and it might be a good idea to put some space between them however much it sounded like the worst idea in the world to his less rational self.

“Yeah sure. Sounds good.”

“Meet us on the fields at six, don’t wear anything you don’t want to get dirty.”

Gwaine laughed at his own joke and Arthur smiled although he wasn’t entirely sure at what. He watched as they walked off as a pack and wondered if that was what he’d been like at school, it was weird looking from the outside in. The first time Arthur caught sight of Merlin was when he walked into the history classroom, Merlin was bent over his books giving the impression of studying hard. No one mentioned anything when they didn’t sit together but Arthur did notice a few glances going around the class. At lunch the same thing, Merlin sat alone eating quickly not looking over to the group of students that Arthur was surrounded by, mostly made up of the players in the rugby team. 

“Everything alright Kingston? Kingston?”

“What? Yes, fine Leon.”

The look of sympathy was far too close to the mark and more than Arthur deserved, he waved it away and tried to bite into the bread roll that now felt dry and tacky in his mouth. After the first practise Arthur trudged back to the changing rooms, covered in mud and aching but feeling lighter than he had in a long time. This he could do, uncomplicated, not having to worry about any ulterior motives. Purely just pitting himself against the other guy hoping he was stronger, faster, more able. 

It was familiar, the camaraderie between team mates. Safe in a way Merlin wasn’t. When Arthur made his way back to his room after dinner he had half expected to find Merlin in his room waiting. What he hadn’t been expecting was the twist in his stomach as he tried to ignore the look of hurt in Merlin’s eyes.

“Is this about last night?”

“That depends.”

“On what exactly Merlin.”

“On why you pushed me away.”

“Perhaps because I’m not interested Merlin.”

“That’s not what it felt like.”

“Well that’s how it is. Stay away from me Merlin.”

Merlin stared at him for a few moments before doing the last thing Arthur expected. He laughed.

“Oh god, have I readjusted your repressed upperclass rugger bugger outlook? Sorry to be a pain Arthur but a little bit of alcohol can’t affect you like that.”

“Thank you for that astute observation, Merlin. But I am just not interested in you. Now excuse me I have a game to get to.”

The next game was a few days later, Arthur was playing against another school in a rugby match for the first time. The crowd bunched together on the edge of the pitch closest to the tree line, mostly muffled in hats and scarves including some school colours.

“Av-A-Lon, Av-A-Lon.”

A small but dedicated group were cheering, Gwen and Morgana included. Their words made faint by the wind so that Arthur couldn’t make them out except for the occasional shout of the school name. His fingers had gone numb a while back but there couldn’t be that long left to play, Arthur ran up the wing following the path of the ball as it passed from player to player. He thought for a moment that he saw Merlin’s face amongst the others in the crowd.

“Arthur!”

Arthur turned in time to fumble the ball thrown at him, the whistle of the referee blowing loudly accompanied by the groans of both players and observers. The game finished soon after, Arthur’s mistake leaving the score closer than it would have been but still a win for the U-18 Avalon Hall rugby team against Monmouth Haberdashery. 

“Nice catch Kingston, not used to dicking around without a stick in your hand?”

Arthur swallowed the retort burning at the back of his throat, Gwaine grinned and tossed his hair. Arthur thought it made him look like one of the prancing horse down in the stables but ignored the urge to mention this. 

“Everything alright Arthur?”

“Yeah, fine Leon. Sorry I messed up there.”

“Same happens to people who’ve been playing years, so I wouldn’t worry. Oh and ignore tosspot over there.”

“I heard that.”

“I meant you to, now go and shower.”

Leon headed towards the other school’s team, Arthur watched as he shook hands with the players for a moment before turning to head to the changing rooms. Most of the crowd headed towards the dining hall, there was usually hot chocolate and cake after a game and Arthur debated going to get some before a shower but the covering of mud and sweat convinced him otherwise. As he reached the changing rooms Arthur saw Gwaine deep in conversation with a man he didn’t recognise, the furtive way Gwaine kept checking his surroundings tipped Arthur off to something more happening than it appeared. Ducking behind a tree Arthur caught the odd word of Gwaine’s conversation.

“...time...Gwaine..it isn’t.”

The man left and Arthur waited until Gwaine headed into the squat building that housed the changing rooms before following quickly. He entered closely after Gwaine, just in time to catch him stuffing something into his locker. Arthur recognised that kind of behaviour in any situation.

“Who was that?”

“No one you’d know.”

“How about I get Mr Rhys in here then to have a look around in your locker then.”

“And what makes you think I’d let you get that far.”

Although Gwaine was half a head shorter than Arthur and slighter than Arthur by nearly a stone Arthur had seen him take out people at least twice his size on the pitch. The way he was squaring up to Arthur now promised confrontation and Arthur decided to take a different tack.

“How about you let me get in on the action then, I thought everyone round here was boring as hell. You’ve been holding out on me Gwaine.”

“Is that right. Well you’re part of the team now Arthur,” Gwaine landed a solid thump with the palm of his hand onto Arthur’s back, the friendly gesture belied by the force Gwaine put into it, “I think we can come to an arrangement.”

“Good.”

“I’ll see you later then Kingston.”

When Arthur found Gwaine later they huddled in the corner that Arthur usually watched from across the room with Merlin.

“Steroids? I thought it would be something a little more...fun.”

“Fun?”

“You know, weed, pills, something.”

“Arthur you surprise me. The drugs test would pick any of that up.”

“Drugs tests?”

“Yes, if I get noticed by a county team. But the steroids, the tests don’t pick them up if you pick the right combination.”

Arthur decided not to get in touch with DI Banks until he had more information. At the moment his only lead was Gwaine’s steroids, he tried to put it out of his mind as he headed to practise the next day.

“Arthur?”

The lurch in Merlin’s stomach propelled him out of his chair towards Arthur who was looking pale and being supported by a worried looking Percy.

“Merlin, someone stepped on his head and a stud scrapped him up pretty bad. Where’s Gaius?”

“He said he’d be back soon.”

Percy looked stumped.

“What should I do?”

The simple question kicked Merlin into gear, his brain a couple of steps ahead as he looked around the office and gave Percy instructions at the same time.

“Go and find Mr Collins and Mrs Allis if you see her, she has basic aid training.”

“I am still here you know, stop talking about me like I’m not here.”

“Yes I can see you’re still here and you’re dripping a large quantity of blood on the floor so sit down and press this against the wound.”

Merlin passed the gauze to Arthur, slightly alarmed at the amount of blood coming out of Arthur’s head until a calm voice in his mind that sounded suspiciously like Gaius told him that head wounds usually look worse than they are. He took a deep breath and tried to view Arthur critically.

“I’m just going to try and clean a bit of the blood out of the way to have a better look ok?”

Arthur nodded, his eyes fixed on Merlin as he moved around the room picking up the various bits and pieces he might need.

“Have you done this before Merlin?”

“No, I can wait until someone else gets here if you don’t want me to have a look.”

“It’s fine, you just look really comfortable. I trust you.”

Merlin wished Arthur hadn’t said that as his hands threatened to tremble when he pressed the hair back from the gash over Arthur’s ear.

“Whose boot did you find to bang your head against?”

“Dunno, it was a scrum. Lance’s or Gwaine’s maybe? I had worse playing lacrosse, my first match I had two fingers broken.”

“And you carried on playing?”

Arthur snorted.

“Well I’d got the bug then, was still trying to practise with them in a splint.”

Merlin tilted Arthur’s head toward the light to see better, listening to Arthur hiss as he wiped away some of the blood.

“I don’t think it’s deep or anything but Gaius will be able to tell better than me. I should check you haven’t got a concussion or something though.”

The chair Arthur was sat in was too low for Merlin to see into Arthur’s eyes properly, he pressed a finger under Arthur’s chin, pushing gently until Arthur was looking directly at him.

“Look at the light for me.”

Merlin moved close enough to watch Arthur’s pupils dilate, a good sign. No concussion at least, Merlin ticked it off the list in his head. He realised Arthur’s lips had parted slightly and that he was bent down close enough to bridge the small gap between them if he leaned forward slightly. He pulled back quickly and went to clean his hands at the sink before passing Arthur fresh gauze.

“What’s your diagnosis then?”

“Incurable idiot syndrome I’m afraid.”

“Ah terminal case I’m guessing.”

“‘Fraid so. Any last words?”

“I’m sorry.”

The quiet sincerity in Arthur’s voice caught Merlin off guard, it was nice to hear but accepting it would be letting Arthur off too lightly so Merlin decided to press a little harder.

“Sorry for what exactly?”

“I think you know why Merlin.”

If Merlin would have gotten anything more out of Arthur he would never know as Gaius choose that moment to bustle through the door. He took one look at Arthur and sprang into action, checking him over and listening as Merlin explained each step he had taken and his reasoning behind them nodding as Merlin gave his prognosis.

“Very good, sound diagnosis and prognosis. I shall make a doctor of you yet young Merlin.”

“You should come watch a game Merlin.”

“You can’t be serious? You’re going to play again? Of course you are, I did mention incurable idiot already didn’t I?”

“Is that a yes?”

“Maybe.”

He was excused the rest of the day and went back to his room to rest as Gaius suggested. Mr Collins had helped him back to his room where he’d promptly led down on the bed. Arthur felt slightly fuzzy from the pills Gaius had given him to help with the headache he’d assured Arthur was coming. When he woke in pitch darkness Arthur was disorientated for a moment. The door to his room was open a chink of light cutting across the carpet towards his bed.

“Who’s there?”

“Arthur, it’s Merlin.”

“Merlin, what are you doing? What time is it?”

Arthur shifted on his side wincing as the pain in his head intensified, he scowled and grabbed at the watch he’d left on his bedside table.

“It’s just after two. Gaius suggested I check on you every couple of hours.”

“Gaius? What?”

“Because of your head.”

“Well I’m alive and very much awake now.”

The room fell silent for such a long time that Arthur thought maybe Merlin had left and he just hadn’t noticed.

“You know that thing you asked me about earlier?”

“Where are you Merlin?”

Merlin padded across the carpet on bare feet until he stood next to Arthur’s bed and dropped down until he was kneeling next to Arthur.

“Which thing?”

“The thing where you asked me to your rugby game, the thing is...I’ve already been watching.”

“You have?”

The warm darkness cushioned them from the real world even if it was for just a few minutes and allowed them confidences the light of day wouldn’t. They kept their voices low and soft, not just from fear of being caught but to stop them breaking the spell that seemed to hold them, delicate and breakable.

“You know the small group of trees on the edge of the woods, I’ve been watching from there. You’re really good.”

“It’s not that different from lacrosse I guess.”

“You’re being modest Arthur, it doesn’t suit you.”

Arthur let out a low chuckle and attempted to cuff Merlin on the head, Merlin just caught Arthur’s wrist and curled their fingers together before lowering their hands to the mattress.

“Go to sleep Arthur.”

Merlin squeezed their curled fingers together as he brushed gently above the long gash at Arthur’s temple.

“I’ll come check on you in a couple of hours.”

“Thank you Merlin.”

Arthur didn’t feel Merlin untangle their hands and he wondered if Merlin had stayed until he’d fallen back asleep. When he woke to the cold, grey winter’s light of the Sunday morning Arthur wondered if there would be frost on the ground.

The entrance to the chapel was a bottleneck of people, Arthur could see Merlin a couple of metres ahead of him and silently berated himself for being so constantly aware of Merlin and not being able to blame it on surveillance. Gwaine was leaning into Merlin’s ear as if imparting some secret and Arthur felt a twinge of unease as Merlin’s hunched shoulders and posture made him think something was off. Arthur started pushing through the crowd ignoring the grumbles and protests as he caught the end of Gwaine’s sentence.

“...she obviously had to sleep with someone to get you into Avalon, Emrys. Although dunno who’d want to shag someone who’s on their way out.”

Arthur watched in disbelief as Merlin flung himself at Gwaine, his fist colliding awkwardly with the boy’s nose producing a sickening crunch. The shock wore off quickly as Gwaine’s friends waded into the fight, Arthur grabbed the back of Merlin’s blazer and pulled him out from the scrum just in time for Mr Rhys to arrive.

“What is the meaning of this, Mr Emrys why did I just see you attack a fellow pupil? Do you have an explanation?”

The shake of Merlin’s head was small but defiant.

“No, Sir.”

“Sir.”

“Yes Kingston? Do you have something to say in Mr Emrys’ defence?”

Arthur caught the furious flick of Merlin’s glance in his direction and shook his head.

“Very well, Merlin you’re on half hour report until Saturday. Collect your forms from Mr Collins.”

“Yes sir.”

Arthur thought it wasn’t that bad a punishment until he caught the stricken expression on Merlin’s face. Merlin quickly rearranged his expression to approximate something closer to his usual expression as he walked away. Arthur jogged a little until he was walking in step with Merlin.

“So what’s report then? We usually just got lines or something at my old school.”

“It means I have to get a piece of paper signed every half hour by a teacher or houseparent when I’m not in classes.”

“At least you weren’t suspended I guess.”

The distant look on Merlin’s face made Arthur reconsider his words going over them for anything Merlin could take offence to, when he didn’t find anything obvious he shrugged and headed in the direction of the dorms.

“Thank you Arthur.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“But you would have, so thank you.”

Arthur was going to say how he would have done the same for anyone else but he paused not knowing if that was entirely true. Instead he nodded and turned away again before saying anything stupid. Over the next few days Arthur watched as Merlin’s face grew more strained until Wednesday afternoon when Merlin knocked on his bedroom door.

“Arthur. I...I don’t know who else to ask.”

“Everything ok Emrys?”

“Can I ask a favour. I can’t go down to the village whilst I’m on report. Could you post this for me? Please?”

Merlin held an envelope tightly in his hands. 

“Sure, I’m heading down after dinner. Leave it on the desk.”

He bent his head back down to pretend to study the textbook in front of him, instead he watched over the top of the pages as Merlin dropped the letter jerkily onto the desk staring at it for a few moments before turning and walking out of the room. 

Arthur picked up the envelope after he’d closed his door and looked at it. It seemed to be exactly what it looked like, a letter but Merlin’s face kept flashing in Arthur’s mind as he’d watched him put it down in the desk. Taking a deep breath knowing that what he was about to do would change things for the worse whichever way it went Arthur picked at the envelopes gummed down opening.

“You’ve been selling drugs.”

The room’s temperature dropped five degrees as Merlin contemplated Arthur calmly, Arthur wanted to take back the words as he felt his misgivings and doubts pile up heavily in his stomach. When Merlin walked towards him purposefully he almost stepped back outside into the corridor to get away but Merlin just leaned past him and pressed the door closed carefully as he watched Arthur.

“You opened the letter.”

“You’re not denying...so you have?” 

Arthur felt his stomach drop, this wasn’t how he’d wanted the conversation to go. If Merlin had denied it, just said that whatever Arthur had seen was a mistake, obviously something innocent taken out of context, Arthur might have been able to ignore his gut feelings. This, the bald acceptance and challenge in Merlin’s tone threw him.

“Why?”

“What makes you think it’s any of your business?”

“Merlin, I know you think I’m stupid sometimes but it is definitely my business when I become some sort of drug mule.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“I’m trying to look out for you here, do you have any idea how stupid this is?”

“I don’t need you to look after me Arthur, how many times,” Merlin pinched his fingers to the bridge of his nose, something Arthur knew he only did when he was really angry or worried, “just leave it alone ok.”

“Are you..in some kind of trouble Merlin? I can help, just tell me what’s going on.”

“No you can’t help, no one can help. I’m doing the only thing that can help so just please, stay out of it.”

Suddenly something was niggling in the back of Arthur’s mind, something from Merlin’s file. One look at Merlin’s angry, defensive expression and Arthur slotted a piece of the puzzle into place. He flipped the envelope over in his hands and read the address printed in Merlin’s scrawl that he defended as handwriting.

“Your mother.”

“Don’t.”

The bed dipped as Merlin sat down heavily, scrubbing at his eyes with the heels of his palms. Arthur stayed where he was, he wanted to move forward, protect Merlin somehow from this but knowing Merlin needed the space made him hang back.

“She’s ill right? You’re not selling drugs. You’re sending them to her.”

Merlin huffed, Arthur thought he could hear the slightest bit of amusement in the tone.

“Always straight to the point with you isn’t it Arthur.” Merlin let out a long breath before continuing, quiet, focused on a patch of carpet by his feet. “Yes, she has MS, do you know what that is?”

Arthur nodded, then realised Merlin wouldn’t be able to see it. 

“Yes.” The sound stuck a little in his throat and Arthur felt slightly mortified, if anyone was entitled to get upset it really wasn’t him right now. He coughed a little to try and cover up the sound but Merlin just nodded.

“Cannabis helps you know, I’ve read studies and done the research. And I mean, I’ve seen it help her, the difference it makes...”

“It’s against the law.”

“Yes I know that.” Merlin couldn’t quite keep the sarcasm out of his voice, he stopped and took a deep breath before carrying on more calmly. “And if you’d seen her struggling to walk or stand and the difference after she’d smoked we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.” 

“You asked me to send this for you, knowing what was in it. I could get done as an accessory.”

“I wanted to tell you but I needed you to send it and I wasn’t sure if you would if you knew. I couldn’t trust anyone else to do it either.”

Arthur watched as Merlin fidgeted with the fabric of his trousers, pinching and smoothing the material over his knee.

“I have to go in a minute.”

“Go?”

“My report needs signing,” Merlin looked up eyes searching Arthur’s, “I have to go.”

Arthur nodded and watched Merlin grab his form from the table. He hesitated for a moment at the door.

“I am sorry Arthur. I should have told you.”

“I’m sorry too Merlin.”

 _I’m sorry Merlin for what I have to do._ His scheduled check in with DI Banks was tonight and Arthur knew what he should do.

“Arthur, your father is on the phone.”

“Thanks Lance.”

Arthur vaulted the sofa and made his way through the corridor to the phone room.

“Hello?”

“How’s school son.”

“That’s really creepy you know.”

“Fine, any more news.”

“A lead. Gwaine Farley. I watched him buy drugs and distribute to other students.”

“You’re sure? Who did he buy them from.”

“I didn’t know the dealer but Gwaine has a little thing going on inside the school.”

“What kind of drugs?”

“Well that’s the thing, they’re steroids. I thought I was looking for more generic types.”

“Steroids? So no recreational stuff?”

“Nothing so far.”

Arthur poked his head around the door again, making sure no one was waiting for the phone room. He really didn’t want anyone overhearing this conversation.

“Did you want me to keep looking?”

“Yes. For now. Any evidence you can find will help keep people off both your back and mine.”

Arthur thought for a moment of Merlin but he held his tongue, wondering if he was an idiot for protecting him. Giving up Merlin would guarantee him a win back at work, anyone trying to set him up to fail would be disappointed and yet Arthur still stayed silent. He didn’t stay silent with Merlin though and even though they’d had this argument in many variations and forms over the last week and yet it was no closer to resolution than it had been. Arthur wondered how two people could be trying to do the right thing and yet still have completely opposite ideas of what that was.

“Please don’t.”

Arthur watched as Merlin darted his tongue out to lick the envelope’s glue strip before smoothing down the opening. He wondered if his pleas would have any effect on Merlin, the tightness of his jaw suggested resolve that even Arthur’s pleading wouldn’t be able to break.

“She’s sick and this is the only way I can help her.”

“If anyone caught you your scholarship would be gone. That and have I mentioned it’s against the law?”

“Do you think that matters to me? When I can help my mum, stop her pain if only for a little while. Would you deny your mum that?”

“I don’t know do I? Never met her. But this is the rest of your life you could mess up. This is serious Merlin.”

The pen that Merlin had been writing his address with stopped and restarted as Merlin let out a deep sigh. Arthur wanted to get up, shake Merlin until he promised that he wouldn’t risk himself like this again whilst at the same time thinking that it was an incredibly selfless thing to do, if a bit stupid. Actually, really stupid. They kept having this argument and nothing had changed.

“It’s not fair Merlin. I wish you didn’t have to do it, both for your mum’s sake and yours.”

“Yeah well I do. Why does it matter to you anyway?”

Arthur looked up at the ceiling not daring to meet Merlin’s eyes. It all felt too much and Arthur sat up abruptly needing to get away.

“It doesn’t matter Merlin. God you’re such an idiot.”

When Merlin didn’t follow as he stomped out the room Arthur headed for the playing fields, the open space usually gave him room to breath. He found an abandoned cricket bat and ball by the games shed and distracted himself for a little while by seeing how long he could keep the ball in the air with the bat, the repetitive thunk of ball against wood lulling him a little. It mattered to him that Merlin stayed out of trouble and he knew it wasn’t for the reasons it was supposed to be. Each time Arthur protected Merlin, lied for him, he sank a little deeper when he was supposed to be the one upholding the law. Not even six months in as a police officer and he was already failing at what he’d chosen to do for life. 

He didn’t see Merlin until the next day, they sat in lessons together again but both of them kept a careful, cordial distance talking of nothing except the upcoming match Arthur would be playing and the material they would need for their General Studies essay. When Arthur left for rugby practise he was seething with frustration and looking forward to kicking the shit out of the rugby ball. However the weather had other plans and Arthur found himself slamming his locker shut barely an hour later. 

Everyone else had showered and left the changing rooms wanting to eat or get back to warm dorms, the weather had turned nasty over the last half hour of practise, the deluge soaked and chilled everyone to the bone eventually causing Mr Rhys to call it off before they’d even really gotten started. Frustration radiated from his pores as Arthur paced the tiled floor in his sodden and now mud brown socks. He’d hoped that running around and getting battered into the ground might help take his mind off Merlin but he’d been denied even the opportunity.

“Shit.”

Arthur’s fist banged loudly into the locker door, the pain a welcome distraction from his thoughts. 

“Merlin.”

Arthur was stopped in his tracks at Merlin’s sudden appearance in the changing rooms as if by just thinking about him he’d made Merlin materialise.

“Arthur.”

Merlin’s tone and the slight nod of his head were polite unlike the hungry roving look in his eyes as he took in Arthur’s appearance. Arthur wondered what he must look like, soaked and streaked with mud. Arthur felt that same tight, prickling under his skin again.

“What are you doing here Merlin?”

He tried but Arthur couldn’t quite cover his curiosity with a thick dose of condescension.

“I think we both know why I’m here Arthur,” Merlin pushed off from the doorjam, “I think we’re both avoiding it though.”

“Is that right. What makes you think I have any clue what you’re talking about?”

“You started this Arthur and I intend that you finish it. One way or another. How you do it is up to you but I am sick of dancing around it.”

“What if I told you to stay away from me?”

Arthur tried to sound angry but he ended up just sounding desperate. 

“Is that what you want?”

Arthur wanted to push Merlin up against the locker and mess up his hair, run his cold hands over Merlin’s skin until he warmed up, press himself into Merlin’s personal space until there wasn’t even air between them.

“You can have it. I told you before you should go for what you want. What’s stopping you?”

Arthur felt Merlin’s words like a blow to his solar plexus, driving the air out until his chest was heaving with the effort of trying to get enough oxygen. 

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Merlin.”

Even as he said the name Arthur wasn’t sure if it was warning or encouragement. He watched as Merlin stepped closer, a hands breadth away before stopping, his eyes roving over Arthur’s face. Waiting, waiting for Arthur to decide which way this was going. 

“Merlin.”

The sound was barely more than a whisper and suddenly Merlin was in his arms, warm against the sodden sports kit he still wore. Merlin’s thumbs rubbed along Arthur’s jaw as Arthur’s hands snaked around Merlin’s waist to pull him closer. He pressed his forehead against Merlin’s, their breath mingling for a moment before Arthur pressed forward, Merlin pulling his head back slightly so that their lips met. Merlin ran his tongue along Arthur’s lip, his stomach clenched and he pulled Merlin closer to him, hungry and heated as the kiss deepened. Arthur pulled Merlin up on his tiptoes groaning as Merlin dug his fingers harder into the short hairs at nape of his neck.

“Bloody hell.”

“Yeah.”

Arthur agreed with a breathless chuckle as he let Merlin settle back on his feet. They stayed entwined unwilling to move away from each other until Arthur shivered.

“You need to change.”

“I don’t want to move.”

“Don’t worry I’m not going anywhere.”

Merlin let his hands drop from around Arthur’s shoulders, smiling at the goofy grin Arthur had on his face.

“Nothing like that mind.”

Arthur laughed and grabbed his towel. He headed into the shower cubicle, stripping quickly out of his wet clothes and sighing as he immersed himself under the hot water. He grinned as he remembered he’d just been thoroughly kissed by Merlin, his hands running soapy circles on his stomach.

“I’m not staying if you’re going to take forever.”

“Keep your pants on Merlin, I’m almost done.”

Arthur submerged himself under the spray one more time, shook the excess from his hair and wrapped his towel around his waist.

“Here.”

Arthur reacted on instinct to grab the bundle Merlin threw at him out of the air.

“Get dressed, I’ll meet you back at the dorms.”

Arthur grabbed him around the neck and pulled him in for a quick kiss, his muscles loosened from his shower his body heat melting Merlin against him. When they pulled back it felt like a bigger loss than just the body heat of another person. Arthur couldn’t even regret doing this yet, that would come later but for now all he could do was pull Merlin in for another quick kiss.

“I’ll be quick.”

Arthur knew there was something wrong as soon as he entered the sixth form wing, Merlin was in Mr Collins’ office.

“Arthur can you come in here a second and look after Merlin. I need to get Gaius.”

“What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

“I’ll just be a minute Arthur.”

When Arthur entered the office Merlin was swaying slightly on his feet, his face even paler than usual.

“Arthur?”

“Merlin, what’s wrong? Is it your mother?”

“No, its Gwen.”

“Gwen?”

“She had an overdose, they had to take her to hospital.”

Arthur watched as Merlin’s eyes rolled around in his head as if cut loose from their moorings inside his head Arthur realised he wouldn’t be staying upright long.

“Sit down Merlin before you faint. Here.”

Arthur got Merlin sat down and pushed him forward until his head was hanging in between his bent knees.

“Shit. This is my fault.”

Merlin’s voice was raspy and Arthur carried on rubbing comforting circles between Merlin’s shoulder blades.

“No its not, how could this be your fault?”

“I know who she got them from. I could have stopped her.”

Merlin was covering his face with his hand, he shook slightly and Arthur realised he was crying. Pulling the gangly boy over slightly, Arthur huddled awkwardly with Merlin sprawled in his lap and held against his chest.

“Just tell me and I can fix this.”

“I can’t. I can’t. My mum.”

The words seemed to jump out of Merlin’s throat in between hiccuping sobs. Arthur just held him tighter and let his mouth rest against Merlin’s crown, not quite petting him.

“You have to Merlin. I’m sorry but people are getting hurt, this is serious. Please tell me and I will sort this out.”

“No one was meant to get hurt.”

“I know.”

“Can we just go to the hospital please Arthur?”

The eyes that looked up at him were rimmed with tear flecked eyelashes, Arthur brushed a stray tear from Merlin’s cheekbone. They waited until Gaius arrived in the office shooing out Mr Collins but when he tried to make Arthur leave Merlin kept a tight hold on his sleeve and eventually Gaius relented and allowed him to stay.

“Is he ok Gaius?”

“Yes, a bit of shock and upset but he’ll be ok after he’s rested.”

“I don’t want to rest I want to go see Gwen.”

Gaius frowned as he contemplated the two of them huddled together on the small sofa.

“I’m not sure that’s wise Merlin.”

“Please.”

Arthur stood to stand closer to Gaius.

“He’s really worried about her.”

“And you seem worried that he is worried.”

Gaius fixed him with a piercing gaze until Arthur glanced over at Merlin, still hunched over himself where Arthur had left him.

“I am.”

Gaius nodded and raised an eyebrow before turning away.

“So will you help?”

“Patience young man I need to get my keys.”

“Oh right. Come on Merlin. Here.”

Arthur pulled the boy up again, he was still feeling more limp and pliable than Arthur would like but he was at least supporting more of his weight. For a skinny looking beanpole he was surprisingly heavy.

“Wait downstairs I’ll bring the car around to the back Arthur.”

They were on their way in under fifteen minutes, Merlin rested his head on Arthur’s shoulder which earned him another raised eyebrow from Gaius in the rearview mirror but he stayed silent until they reached the A&E department. 

“You best look after him Arthur.”

“I will. We’re here Merlin, thank you Gaius.”

Arthur pulled Merlin through the hospital to the lifts.

“Arthur, I promise I didn’t know this would happen to Gwen.”

“I know Merlin, this isn’t your fault. What did happen exactly?”

“Morgana said that Gwen took the pills after they’d been drinking. Gwen wouldn’t though, but she has been upset lately with Lance and school and everything...”

Merlin trailed off watching the numbers climb higher, the machinery of the lift turning loudly.

“So was there anyone else there? Just Morgana?”

“Yeah, why what does it matter Arthur?”

“It doesn’t, I’m sure she’s fine Merlin.”

Silently Arthur was having the beginnings of an idea form as he thought back to all the times Merlin had gone into the village with Gwen and Morgana. He had thought it innocent but in the light of what Merlin had just said it was taking on a different slant especially as he thought of exactly what Merlin was posting. 

“Gwen.”

“She’s sleeping right now Merlin.”

Arthur watched as Morgana adjusted the sheets on the bed and took one of Gwen’s hands in her own. 

“So it was Lance she was upset about?”

“Who told you that?”

“Just what I’ve heard, can you think of why else Gwen would do this?”

“Why are you even here Arthur?”

“Just looking after a friend. Wouldn’t you do the same for a _friend_?”

Morgana’s gaze was sharp, not missing the inflection Arthur had rested on his last word. Merlin remained oblivious to their words, his attention concentrated on Gwen. 

“Does anyone want a drink or anything? Merlin?”

Merlin shook his head, not taking his eyes off Gwen’s prone figure. 

“I’d love a coffee if you’re going Arthur.”

She smiled and placed a comforting hand on Merlin’s arm making Arthur’s skin itch. As soon as he’d left the room Arthur pulled to the side of the room leaving the door ajar concentrating on the voices in the room as he tried to block out the ambient noise from the nurses and doctors that milled around him. The voices were quiet and Arthur cursed silently as he tried to inch closer without being seen.

“What did you tell him?”

“Who?”

“Arthur.”

“Nothing, he just helped me get here, he asked Gaius to give us a lift.”

“If he knows anything Merlin.”

“I swear he doesn’t know anything about you. He thought I was dealing at first.”

“Who does he think it is now?”

“No idea, but why would he think you?”

Indeed, the thought hadn’t even crossed Arthur’s mind, he could kick himself for ignoring the possibility. Why because what she was a girl? She was rich? Arthur put the thoughts to one side for the moment, recriminations could come later. The conversation had stopped and Arthur thought he could hear the rustle of fabric, perhaps Merlin had gotten up to check on the sleeping Gwen again.

“Is she going to be ok?”

“Yes of course she is. Jesus Merlin could you stop worrying, you’re making me nervous just watching you pace.”

Silence fell long enough that Arthur wanted to move closer to check what was happening.

“I have to leave Merlin, just for a little while until this all dies down. Need to clear out my room before they start searching. Agravaine’s on his way already.”

Arthur felt his pulse kick a little at that, he had her. He should go in right now and arrest her but he hesitated knowing that if there was a way to do this without making Merlin watch he wanted to try and find it.

“Won’t people wonder?”

“Let them, I’ll just start the rumour that I’m madly in love with her and the strain of seeing her in hospital led to a breakdown.”

“Is that why she’s really here Morgana? Because of Lance?”

“Of course, don’t be an idiot Merlin. I’ll only be gone until everything calms down.”

The hospital around him carried on, it didn’t seem to notice what was happening in one small room. Didn’t seem to notice Arthur listening, gritting his teeth in silence.

“Did she know what she was taking? Did she know she was taking anything at all?”

The silence confirmed both his and Merlin’s suspicions.

“I knew this wasn’t like her, yeah ok she likes a drink sometimes but this? I knew it couldn’t be her. You spiked her drink didn’t you?”

“Spiked her drink? It wasn’t like that Merlin, I just wanted to cheer her up, let her have a good time. You’re such a kid sometimes.”

“No I’m really not, that was such an unbelievably stupid and wrong thing to do and I can’t believe you can’t see that.”

“Moral judgements Merlin? I think we’re a little past that don’t you?”

“Get out Morgana. I don’t want you anywhere near her.”

“Fine. I was leaving anyway.”

When she passed him Arthur fell into step with her.

“Morgana.”

“Arthur, something you need?”

“For you to accompany me to the station and answer some questions. Quietly or not, it’s your choice.”

Arthur placed a restraining hand on her arm, Morgana let her eyes flash as she brushed off his arm.

“Is this some sort of joke, get off me Arthur.”

“Very well. You’re under arrest Morgana and you do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something you later rely on in court. Now that we’re done with the pleasantries are you going to come quietly?”

“What are you doing Arthur?”

The noises of discontent coming from the nurses station had Arthur feeling like the situation was rapidly getting out of control. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Merlin leaving Gwen’s room his eyes widened as Arthur pulled out his wallet and flashed his police ID.

“Police Officer Pendragon, ladies and gents. Now if you can please move along, thank you very much.”

“Arthur I think you need to explain very quickly what the hell is going on. Why do you have that badge?”

“I think it’s too long a story to tell you right now Merlin.”

“I think I can hazard a guess,” Morgana drawled, managing to look self satisfied even as Arthur held her arm behind her back, “Arthur is undercover, thought you were the dealer and got close to you to find out. How’d I do Officer Pendragon?”

“That’s not what happened, just so you know you do have the right to remain silent and I suggest you use it Morgana.”

“So you’re saying that’s not what happened Arthur?”

“Merlin.”

“Just tell me that’s not what happened Arthur,” a note of pleading entered Merlin’s voice, “just tell me.”

“Merlin, I...”

Arthur watched as Merlin’s face closed in on itself, could see each shared memory picked over and discarded as tainted now. Arthur wanted to close his eyes so he couldn’t watch it happen, his hand tightened on Morgana’s wrist as he watched Merlin turn and go back into Gwen’s room.

“Right, come on then.”

The next few hours filtered past Arthur’s mind, few moments standing out in relief. The police car that came to take away Morgana, the taxi ride back to Avalon and the stares as he went through corridors to his room. Merlin was sat on his bed, looking tired and worn. Arthur had to suppress the urge to pull Merlin into his arms. 

“Hey.”

“Hey. Is Gwen ok?”

“Yeah, they’re keeping her in for observation but it’s mostly just rest she needs.”

“That’s good then.”

“So you’re a policeman?”

“Yeah I guess.”

“What’s your real name?”

“Arthur, I’m still Arthur.”

“Your surname. In the hospital with your badge,” Merlin waved a hand towards Arthur’s trousers, “you said another name. Pendragon.”

“That’s my name. Arthur Pendragon. Kingston was my cover name.”

Merlin looked like he’d had the air punched out of him.

“Guess you couldn’t go by your own name, far too recognisable.”

Arthur shifted his weight, he’d hoped Merlin wouldn’t make the connection but it had been an idle hope at best, he’d known Merlin would be smart enough to figure it out.

Merlin picked at a loose thread on the duvet, his long fingers restless as he avoided meeting Arthur’s eyes.

“God Arthur you have no idea how much of an idiot I feel,” Arthur swallowed as Merlin’s voice hitched, “you made me think...well it doesn’t matter. Guess you’re leaving now.”

“I have to. I was just doing my job and now it’s finished.”

The room had seemed small before but the chasm that stretched between them felt far larger than the actual four foot of space. Arthur wanted to go outside to see if it was any easier to breath, his chest felt like it was being crushed by the weight of so many unsaid words. 

“When do you go?”

“In the morning, it’s too late to catch the train now. I need to pack my stuff up as well so...”

“Can I see your badge?”

Arthur blinked slowly, slightly nonplussed.

“What for? Fine, here.”

He chucked his wallet to land on the bed next to Merlin. When Merlin reached out Arthur watched as they hesitated slightly over the worn leather before picking it up gingerly and flipping it open.

“Police Officer Pendragon.”

When Merlin looked up and rubbed a weary hand across his face.

“It’s actually true then, guess this is more than enough proof.”

“I’m sorry Merlin, I wanted to tell you.”

“But you couldn’t because I might be a drug dealer. Fine. But what about when you knew I wasn’t?”

“What about then Merlin? I knew you were involved somehow, how could I trust you with this, if it had been between protecting the person who was supplying you and me who would you pick?”

Merlin plucked again at the bedspread. 

“I don’t know.”

“Well I do. And I don’t blame you Merlin, if it was my mother...look I just didn’t want to make you choose.”

“But all this time.”

“You don’t believe what Morgana said do you?”

“I don’t know, should I?

“No.”

Merlin huffed in disbelief and Arthur tensed.

“Fine, maybe at first but it wasn’t for long Merlin.”

Merlin didn’t bother to wipe away the traces of moisture that ran down his cheeks this time, his gangly frame seeming smaller to Arthur than ever before as he watched Merlin curl in on himself. 

“Because it’s not true you knucklehead. God I didn’t want to like you, would have made my life and job here so much easier if I hadn’t.”

Merlin seemed to take a moment to take this in before holding out Arthur’s wallet, watching as Arthur stepped closer until he was looking down directly at Merlin. 

“Easier but not better Merlin.”

Arthur smoothed his thumb across Merlin’s cheek as he watched Merlin’s green eyes flicker through several emotions before finally settling when his hand curled around Arthur’s wrist tugging down. Arthur could taste the salt on Merlin’s lips as they pressed together, tentative at first before becoming harder. A sharper edge of need making itself known with rough hands and the scrape of teeth. Merlin fisted his fingers in the fabric of Arthur’s jumper pulling him down further until Arthur was sprawled on top of him, the weight and heft of Arthur steading him, familiar and comforting. Merlin’s eyes roved over Arthur’s face, drinking in the features, the curve of his eyebrow and the way his face softened as his lips quirked knowing it was probably one of his last chances to do so. 

They woke in the morning tangled in sleep and each other as the grey light of the morning brought them back to consciousness. Arthur stretched, languid and warm before curling a hand around the nape of Merlin’s neck and pulling him closer into an almost kiss.

“Wish I could get used to this.”

“Mmm. What time?”

Arthur didn’t need the rest of the sentence to know what Merlin meant, his approaching departure broke into the soft cocoon of the morning. 

“Soon, but not yet.”

Their touches were slower, more careful that the previous evening’s. Arthur ran his hands over Merlin’s skin, lean muscle shifting, taut with each thrust against each other until Arthur reached between them fisting their cocks together until they jerked, sated and complete.

“You should go, people will be getting up soon.”

“I don’t care.”

Merlin burrowed into the side of Arthur’s neck, his breath tickling the sensitive skin there a tentative flicker of Merlin’s tongue making Arthur swallow deeply. 

“Well I do, I’m not going to be here the rest of the year.”

“Arthur, how many times. I don’t need you to look after me.”

“But I want to.”

They stayed like that for a few minutes more, Arthur let Merlin pull the duvet over them and they drifted in the warm afterglow of their activities.

“You really have to go now before Mr Collins starts doing his rounds.”

“Can I come say goodbye when you’re leaving?”

“I don’t think that’s wise Merlin, I don’t think I could say goodbye to you in public in a way that won’t get me arrested by myself.”

Neither of them voiced the question of whether they would see each other again, there didn’t seem much point in torturing themselves with either possibility. 

“Will your mother be ok?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry.”

Merlin shook his head.

“Don’t be, you were just doing your job Arthur. Morgana...” Merlin shook his head again, his lips twisting.

“I’m still sorry.”

“Yeah, ok.”

When Merlin pulled away to tug his clothes on, Arthur let his hand linger on the sharp lines of Merlin’s back until he twisted back around and planted a firm kiss on Arthur’s lips. When Merlin pulled away leaving a breathless ‘bye’, more felt on his skin than heard, he let his hand drop to the mattress instead of pulling Merlin back into his arms again. He knew if he did that he might not let him go. 

When the taxi pulled up in front of the main hall Arthur looked around one last time, eyes lingering over windows where someone could be watching from but if Merlin was there he stayed hidden. The slam of the taxi’s boot and irritated mutter of the cabbie pulled Arthur from his thoughts.

“Ready when you are sunshine.”

Letting go of the disappointment Arthur climbed into the car and settled against the window, watching as the house and grounds rolled out of view and he headed into the country and away from Avalon Hall. 

**Epilogue**

Everyone was taking pictures, laughing, smiling, talking quietly. Small groups of teachers and pupils the lines between them blurring slightly as everyone realised their lives as pupils at Avalon were nearly over. Merlin sat on the stone edge of the fountain watching, its quiet trickle of water counterpoint to the murmuring of voices and clinking of delicate glass. 

Small groups started to drift towards the ballroom as the afternoon shifted into evening, the chill enough motivation for the woman in their gowns. Merlin thanked his stars that men got to wear jackets, allowing him a few more moments of peace outside. The stone under him was giving up the last of the warmth it had absorbed during the day before Merlin debated going in, the gardens now empty apart from himself and a few birds finishing the crumbs of canapes from the lawn.

“Merlin?”

“Gwen.”

“You looked a million miles away then, something wrong?”

Gwen settled her gown to sit on the stone next to him, her warmth a welcome distraction from his thoughts. Lancelot hovered uncertainly around the edge of the lawn, conspicuously trying to look as if he wasn’t watching every move Gwen made and failing miserably. Merlin almost laughed at his ridiculous attempt before he realised Gwen was watching him as if she knew what was going through his mind.

“You having a good time Gwen?”

“I am,” her eyes were drawn over again to Lance and she smiled softly again, Merlin suppressed a pang of something like jealousy and nostalgia mixed messily together, “even though Lance can’t dance for toffee.”

Merlin snorted and they both tried to suppress helpless giggles.

“You coming in?”

Merlin fiddled with the champagne glass he’d nursed all evening, one glass as all that he was allowing himself, drunk and morose was really not a good combination on him.

“Maybe, in a while.”

“You should at least get to dance Merlin.”

The unspoken words, _especially after the year we’ve had_ , echoed loudly between them as Gwen stood and held out her hand. She really did look beautiful, glowing almost, Merlin thought, her face soft with happiness, eyes wide and glowing.

“I wouldn’t want to intrude on your date.” Merlin inclined his head slightly, Gwen glanced in the direct he was indicating to find Lance watching them more openly now. Something passed between them, something Merlin couldn’t interpret but Lance smiled slightly soppily and headed back indoors. Merlin felt that same tightening in his chest watching the two of them but pushed it down roughly.

“You really like him don’t you?”

“I do. Now come on, dance with me.”

Who was Merlin to disobey, he rested his hands awkwardly on Gwen’s waist as she hooked her arms loosely around his neck. They swayed slightly to the music drifting from an open window, Merlin closed his eyes and rested his temple atop Gwen’s head, her cheek rested on his chest.

“May I cut in?”

Merlin jumped, his eyes flew open to find the owner of that distinctive voice stood real and solid in front of him, hand outstretched. Merlin was at a loss, frozen. Gwen took over instead, moving away to allow Arthur to step in, he rested his hands lightly on Merlin as if unsure of their welcome. 

“You came back.”

“I felt like we had unfinished business. Do we?”

Over the last few months Merlin had thought about this moment, would he want to punch Arthur or kiss him? Could he forgive Arthur and at the same time could Arthur forgive him? He wondered if they had too much baggage collected before they’d even really started anything. 

“Could we just finish this dance and see where it takes us?”

Though neither of them had moved Arthur suddenly seemed incredibly close, his eyes flickering down to trace the shape of Merlin’s lips and back up. 

“I’d like nothing better.”


End file.
